The skill we are going to work on for February 2021 is being more open, expressing, and talking about our feelings. This goes hand in hand with the challenge for this month, expressing your love. These are separate things though. Being open about our feelings and talking about them more is not the same thing as expressing your love.
To practice this skill I want you to always say exactly how you are feeling when an emotion comes up within you. This is especially important when talking to other people. So when someone asks you how your day went instead of just saying fine or good I want you to really get into it. For example you could say “I am frustrated right now, or I am stressed out and just need to relax for a minute” If someone says something that pisses you off don’t shut down or ignore it. Tell them. Say, “hey what you just said really hurt my feelings and I am angry about it”
As human beings we are often taught not to discuss our feelings or not to show them or even to disguise them as something other than what they truly are. This is especially common for men. So for this month I want us to practice saying out loud our emotions or true feelings about anything whenever it comes up. Preferably in human interactions you will tell the other person how you feel without a filter. It isn’t worth being disingenuous with people, even if telling them your true feelings might affect the way they see or think about you it’s still worth it. We want people who are in our life because they like who we truly are, not for the persona we create.
In times when you are not talking to another person, but something brings up a feeling or emotion in you, say it out loud. Say “I am angry”, “That makes me sad”, or “I am feeling super excited about this, but I am confused why!” Who cares if someone hears you. If you must you could say it quietly, but this skill practice is all about being open and transparent with our feelings and emotions. At all times. This combined with telling someone we love them each day which is this month’s challenge should put us all on the path towards healthy and fulfilling relationships in our lives. Relationships full of love, clarity, and understanding.
I hope you will participate in this skill practice. Just do your best and check back later in the month for my review of how things went for me.
Review
The skill of being open about your feelings is a hard one to put into practice. I found it hard to constantly remind myself to think about and openly say the emotions I was feeling. I would remember to do this sometimes and make an emotion statement to the person I was talking to, but it was not a practice I found myself reliably repeating.
Being open about your feelings is important, but I can’t help but think that there are better ways to practice this attribute.
I found it a lot more impactful to just complete the challenge of expressing your feelings in which you told a different person that you care about that you loved them each day.
Difficulty 8.5/10 – This challenge would be easier if it wasn’t so difficult to be mindful and talk about your feelings each day.
Effectiveness 4/10 – I am sure that there are better ways to practice being mindful about your feelings and expressing them to people.
Impact 5.5-10 – I found it helpful to openly state my current emotion with people, but not life altering.
Sustainability 6/10 – I believe it would be difficult to continue doing this practice and more importantly it would not be appropriate in all situations.
Overall 5/10 – I give this skill/practice a 5 out of 10 because while it is great to be mindful and open about your emotions, it is not always practical and there are probably better ways to put this skill into practice.
Don’t forget you can also check out last years February Challenge if you would like.
February Challenge